Doug Belshaw’s Thought Shrapnel always has interesting stuff to read. Here he shared an excerpt from Kai Brach’s “Dense Discovery” newsletter that resonated with me, what to do with that terrible social interaction that begins with “What do you do?” There was some interaction I was in over a decade ago where this question came up and the persons response was something along the lines of “what a boring thing to ask.”

I used to always focus on my working identity when engaged in these conversations. Our work lives have somehow become the central pillar of our identities, overshadowing the countless other dimensions that make us who we are.

The quoted suggestions from Simone Stolzoff to simply add two words to this question: “What do you like to do?” This subtle shift opens up a world of possibility, allowing us to present ourselves not as workers.

The other intentional shift I’ve made when I get asked the usual question of what I do is to shift the framing with just a couple of simple words as well. This is particularly important to me in a professional or work context; for example I use this approach when writing my bios now. Instead of tying my identity to the role, I state that the role is something I do. If you’ve attended events where I’ve presented in the past 5 or so years you might have noticed that other presenters might say “(enter name here) is an instructional designer at (enter org).” where mine will say “JR Dingwall works as an instructional designer…” For me, this moves me one step away in that the work is something I do, not something that limits who I am.